A little good.....

On an up note for this rough week, H and I did have one really good conversation, where I was able to just be in the moment with him and listen and validate his feelings. He accepted me there and I think was glad that I was there for him. Afterwards he asked me for a hug. So that felt really good! The conversation was about his dad, which is a difficult issue for him and for me. I know he is mad at me and his dad about our divorce and how he barely gets to see his dad. I know it would make it easier on him if he could just blame me for everything. I would let him if it would really make him feel better. He just has no control over what happens and when he gets to see his dad and I know that has got to be really frustrating for him. His dad just isn't very present in his life. So we had a good talk, but otherwise most of our communication this week has really sucked and you know it might be partially because of his dad. His dad called this week after no contact for 6 weeks, H called him the last time. So maybe talking to dad brought up all those confused and bitter feelings. H hasn't seen his dad in over a year now. His dad just hasn't been able to see him. I don't understand how that works, and I don't pretend to understand. I think it's pathetic and no excuse could ever make up for it. But I would never tell that to H, he would make up excuses for his dad and I don't want him to do that. Although when we talked I told him it wasn't fair and that he really does need to be able to see his dad more. It's more important for me to hear how H feels about it rather than tell him how I feel about it. I feel frustrated like he does, but just in a different way. I am mad that my sons father is treating him like this, but how do I intervene. How can I make things better, if I get on his dad, he will just get pissed off and that might mess things up for H. But it really makes me mad! Okay well I can write about this issue for hours, so I had better wrap it up.

Divorce is hard, I am finding that it's especially hard when you get divorced when the child is a baby, barely 1 year old. And the father moves across the country and isn't really involved but is the fun dad when he does see his son. The son gets older and really wants his dad, but hasn't really had a relationship with dad. I just try to be there for H and try to let him talk about it.