tummy gurgles...

Today while eating lunch C's tummy gurgled and he noticed. It made him smile and he wanted to know if I had heard it too. I told him it was his tummy making noises. He wanted to look at his tummy and then he clapped, which is his way of saying "more". It was a precious moment, he wanted his tummy to do more gurgling.

Life of Fred

Today I got the first Life of Fred book called Fractions. I am eager to read it and am hopeful that it will be a good book to read with H. He is very practical, and so I see that the only way for him to learn math is by actually using it. I will post my thoughts as I read through it.

.... in a rut....

Okay, so we have been back from vacation and during the day H basically spends all the time we are at home playing video games or watching tv. He will watch tv even when there is nothing on. When I asked him if there was something else he would like to do, he tells me that if I want to do something I just have to let him know. I just don't want to be in there with him when the tv is on. I will watch some shows with him, but I am so easily sucked in. I am very visual. I can't fall asleep if there's a tv on, no matter how tired I am. He is looking to me for different things to do and I just feel blah. I want him to take some initiative. I try to talk to him about different things to do. We started making Artist trading cards before Thanksgiving and he got into that a bit. We read a great book called Varjak Paw. I read it to him, he still always wants me to read aloud. I want us to do some different learning together, but that means me reading something and well I just get tired of reading everything. I know I am throwing myself a pity party. Maybe it's because I feel like I am in a rut. I have lost my direction with my interests and so it's the mood in the house during the day. I also feel like it's impossible to do very much during the day while I am babysitting, C, is just too demanding of attention. It's good to get this out, because I really think I need to re-center and figure out my direction again and I think it will help H to get his direction back.

We got some books out from the library, mostly Christmas books. I got a few on the history and symbolism of christmas and one about the physics of christmas. Maybe these books will help us get back on track and enjoying life and eager for more learning.

I know that we are learning everyday, but I guess what it really is.....we aren't connecting, we aren't really spending any creative time together and it bothers me. But yet, I just want to blame the tv, because all he does is watch it. But I guess if I took more of an interest or offered alternatives then we could find other fun things to do together.

I am really just trying to give him the freedom to choose what he wants to do, but I worry that he doesn't know that he has options. Like maybe he thinks that because I am on my computer I am not there for him. So maybe I need to give a little more and see what happens. At first I was upset at all the tv time and sort of took it out on H, now I just sort of ignore him while he's watching. Neither of those are good for either of us, so I need to get back on track. The winter just puts me in a blah mood and not having a direction does it too.

a difference in words and meanings

Last night my mom and dad came over for dinner. I really wanted to see them, it had been a couple of weeks. We were happily eating the yummy chilli my hubby made when out of the blue my mother says, "I am not going to call myself a mammal anymore, I don't believe we are animals, God made us like him, we aren't like animals." ....

The red flags went up and I gave my hubby a quick look out of the corner of my eye. I think both my dad and my hubby got very uncomfortable and wanted to quickly end any conversation that might come of this declaration. I couldn't contain myself. I immediately laid into her, how we aren't different and how that is being judgemental and putting humans up on some pedestal. Saying we are better when we aren't. Her argument was that we have self-awareness and are conscious of what we do. We can build things and have all this technology, and well, no animals have that. I was on the edge of my chair cringing. I was having trouble seeing past her need to judge animals against us because God made us in his likeness. My mother is very religious and the sermon yesterday must have been about man and animals. After arguing for a bit, I let her talk and I really listened to what she was saying. Then she let me say why I attacked her.

I have real trouble when people try to separate us from the rest of the living world, we all came from the same place and we will all go back to the same place in the end. Just because humans have self-awareness and can build things and have all this technology it doesn't make our ways better or more justified. I am not an animal rights activist, I am into animal welfare. When we see ourselves as different and better than animals, we see them as less and therefore expendable. If we don't see ourselves like animals and as mammals then how can we possibly all live together on this planet respecting each others cultures and way of life.

In my work at the zoo, that is the biggest message we push is how similar we all really are, to help people get a sense of belonging to nature not something outside of it because we live in houses and never really have to go outside except to get into our cars. We must continue to cultivate in our children an appreciation for all life and for all of nature. When they learn to enjoy it and love it they will want to preserve it and take care of it. When they see it as something separate from themselves, well, they just won't care.

My mom and I came to the realization that we were both thinking the same thing, our words just weren't the same. She wanted to call us separate to say that if we were all living in God's love and light that we would all be stewards of our earth, we would love and care for it and care for all living things, because that is what God wanted for us. However that is not the reality and that what I was saying was also true that we cannot separate ourselves, once we separate, well that is when we stop caring. We start thinking we are different, we are better, who cares, we can make artificial environments, and well we don't really need this or that species, they just get in the way, they are so different from us anyway, who needs them.
It was good to have the argument, but sometimes my mom is so into her God, that she fails to see how things really are and how she needs to lead by example instead of how things should be. She talks about man's fall as if it doesn't have to be that way, but it does, and it always will be. Man has free will and people will do what they want, when they want and what suits them best. Ignorance is bliss, what we don't know won't hurt us, but may be deadly to someone else(animals included). My mom accused me of being close-minded, and yet I was able to see where she was coming from, and we agreed that God intended us to be stewards, that our relationship to other animals is a stewardship, to care for them and watch over them. But we don't do that and well just look at the way we treat each other let alone another species. I just don't like making us separate as if our ways are better, it's judging, and that is not for us to do.

Okay there's my rant.

Wow, two weeks have passed by since my last post. Time moves so fast. I still have not gotten the pictures from our trip off my camera. I will work on that. I have been looking at the live and learn conference website and I think I want to go next fall. I know H and I would enjoy it. My hubby on the other hand, was like what would H and I do there while you are at the conference. I tried to explain that it would be for all of us, that there would be stuff to do for all of us and plenty of people around to talk to. I will just have to work on him for the rest of the year until next September.